I child-proofed my house, but they still get in. and other bumper stickers...

Bumper stickers, as recorded by the bathroom reader:

• If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now.
• This car is a status symbol. It symbolizes me being poor.
• The Earth is full. Go home.
• End hunger. Eat a little snack.
• Don't believe everything you think.
• My child was inmate of the month at the county jail.
• Don't make me release the flying monkeys!