I child-proofed my house, but they still get in. and other bumper stickers...

Bumper stickers, as recorded by the bathroom reader:

• If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now.
• This car is a status symbol. It symbolizes me being poor.
• The Earth is full. Go home.
• End hunger. Eat a little snack.
• Don't believe everything you think.
• My child was inmate of the month at the county jail.
• Don't make me release the flying monkeys!

Wow guys, I'm sorry it's been so long.

For the past while I had completely lost int rest. But my fans (all two) have convinced me otherwise.
Here's my life:
Finals are coming up soon. I just want vacation so I can sleep with out feeling guilty.
I celebrated my 19th birthday! Oddly enough, I still don't feel 19. I can't be, I'm to young to be 19, not that 19 is old, but I'm still too young.
My stomach is in pain from the yogurt I had for dinner with out a lactaid pill. My philosophy: If I ignore it, it will go away. Now, if only that would work with plain milk...
I'm congested, but I want to go running tomorrow. I don't know if I'll make it. It's the worst cold symptom to have while running, cuz it messes with your breathing.
I eloped with Derek, and I am living in Calaway, Nevada. Don't look me up, I don't want fan mail. I'm trying to escape my past. It's all to much, I'm going to swoon now.
I went on a Friends frenzy, and watched most of season five, except for the 3rd dvd which was missing. This is tragic because on disc 3 is the crucial episode where Monica and Chandler bring their relationship out into the open.
I tutor Shiran, and we've been working on an essay on MLK, after weeks and weeks, we are finally writing the essay, and I must say, I will be so happy when this is over. We've been on the subject for too long, we need a break.
I want to go see Elephants in Africa, but Derek says no, geez, what a tightwad.
oh my goodness gracious, have you seen the time, someone will be turning into a pumkin soon, and orange really isn't your color.
Well, then, I'm off to save the world, one pina coolada at a time. Don't try to stop me, I'm determined. ok, well when you put it that way... Fine, just stop, I said I come with you.